The 30s blues.

Ok isnt it bad enough that we as women have to run the role of beauty queens for a day everyday? Why do we feel the need to torture ourselves on a daily basis of exercise,diet,makeup and the perfect hairstyle? Well..... we are women that is why!!... hey you dont question my need of a daily regimine that would send most people to live at the funny farm:) I would like to think of it as i am taking care of myself although couldnt we as women just been given the ability to wiggle our nose and have everything we wanted! the perfect body persay!! Darn that witch... ha ha anyhow i am now in my 30s and as a woman that is a joke enough in itself. I woke up one morning and took a seat on my sofa just for a few minutes you see. And low and behold here comes my 13 year old daughter.. HI mamma ! she greeted me. I in turn said hi there .... and all the while she has focused her attention on my face somewhere in the lip region and starts to laugh hysterically. OK it is no big secret that i have a woman stache... because god for some reason thought it would be funny to start growing hair on our faces after we hit 30. Well im not laughing i am now having to spend money on getting hair removed that i could use for a vacation somewhere..... Well as i ask her whats wrong she looks at me fairly puzzed and says..... ummm Mom you have a mustache! I said i know that. But its just blond hair and every woman has it! She once again looked at me giggled and said no mom the hair is black......My eyes widened and i gasped and said ..NO IT ISNT!! So completely taken aback and worried that i am now becoming my mother i run to the bathroom and approach the mirror...... low and behold there it was looking back at me in the mirror a black woman-manstache OMG!! how did I not know it was there? I look at myself every morning! Why did i not recognize it? I was so emabaressed... I just knew everyone had seen it because it now had neon print on it with a shinny glowing light as to announce to the whole world Crystal has a mustache!! So I go to the store hoping and praying that someone else does not see my manstache-woman catapilar lip. I go straight to the hair removal isle and hope i could find something to take all the hair away.... My daughter is looking at me and watching my every move and looks at me and says why does it have to be this difficult? I look at her rolled my eyes and kept looking. She said just shave it mom!! UGHHH we all know what shaving things does right? Anyhow EUREKA there it is for 7 dollars and some change the hair removal kit that will somehow change my life. I pick it up and pay for it and scurry home to get rid of this thing that was the hightlight of my 13 year old daughters day... OK i knew i had one before but only had to wax every 2 months which turned into every month which then turned into every 2 weeks what the heck? I thought that the more you wax the less the hair grows in right? WRONG !! I come home wash my face and apply liquid heat to my face after I spent the last 3 miniutes trying to get the crap to melt in the microwave and stir it with the tiny little spatula they gave me that have words printed on the side that tell you when its too hot! Well it should say STOP HOT AS HELL!! So I apply this stuff and it starts to harden. Its the stuff that you dont need strips for. It hardens and you yank! !!! Ok i Further make the mistake to walk out in the living room where ..... yes you guessed it my 13 year old was sitting. She looks at me and BUSTS OUT LAUGHING..... Elijah look at mom!!!! ok well i did look somewhat like a yellow fake eyebrow and yellow mustache kind of character out of a comic book. I look and I start to laugh as well...... OK well i am so glad i could make everyones day.. I go back to the hair removal masters dungeon we call the bathroom. And YANK.... OH MY @!@!@#$$%%^&***() YEOCH THAT HURTS !!! JUST IMAGINE? MY DAUGHTER STARTS TO LAUGH HYSTERICALLY AGAIN!!!!So ok i finish my business with a bright red face and aloe vera cream rubbed all over it.... Take a seat next to my daughter who looks at me in great approval gives me a hug and whispers in my ear you look beautifull mom but did you know? YOU HAVE A LONG HAIR GROWING FROM YOUR CHIN?...............OTHER WISE KNOWN AS MY BILLY GOAT HAIR!!..........WHERES THE TWEEZERS? OH BOTHER!!